Starting the Vision & Graft Podcast | Part 1
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When the idea first came to me to start the Vision & Graft podcast I was in the throes of Covid related life upheaval. The first wave had just hit hard and I’d had to make a mad dash to get out of London. At this point my brain was firing (and misfiring) on all cylinders, throwing out various ideas and schemes to possibly remedy against the downfall of my freelance career as a cinematographer. Some of the ideas that came to me I tested and they didn’t really catch on, or I lacked the necessary enthusiasm to push them further. Other ideas were so ridiculous I’d rather not share as I’ve no idea what I was thinking. I’ll put it all down to Covid related panic and leave it there.
However the podcast idea stuck and I started to look into it further. I thought at that point in time that it seemed like a bit of a cliché to start a podcast as others had already had similar knee jerk reactions to the pandemic and wanted to adapt to their new found situations by starting their own podcasts. At first this made me hesitant but I decided to ignore any negativity and press on with my own ideas.
My first attempt to start a podcast came in the form of a video podcast. Using my background as a cinematographer I felt that this would be the best way to do things but I didn’t realise that this would be running before I can walk. Firstly, I’m not a natural presenter and if I was going to be putting myself on camera, as well as using my voice, I needed to learn a lot of new presenting and entertaining skills. I have friends and colleagues who do this amazingly well but it was a talent that I was far from possessing. Secondly, shooting the whole thing as a video leaves less room for mistakes, so when you come to edit the video podcast (videocast?) you need to be nailing it way more than a normal entry level podcaster is expected to.
This first attempt to start Vision & Graft unfortunately stalled. Personal life mayhem was creating a distraction and I started to become disillusioned with my approach to each podcast. In the Vision & Graft podcast I wanted to encourage other creatives to talk honestly about their career hurdles, mental health challenges and the personal life mayhem their careers can bring. I wanted it to be helpful for the creative community as a resource where we would talk honestly about the challenges we have faced. However I realised that I wasn’t being as open and honest as I should be about my own personal challenges. In the first attempted recordings I would often skirt around the edge of the fact I struggled with my own mental health and would not go anywhere near the fact I suffered with depression. As time went on I felt like a bit of a fraud and hypocritical in what I was doing and how I was behaving. I backed away from the whole idea as I didn’t feel I was able to be honest about my mental health without it having negative consequences for my personal life and career.
After a few months passed and a few more interesting life twists and turns were thrown my way I decided to start the podcast again and to take the risk. I’d been inspired by watching the BBC documentary Roman Kemp: Our Silent Emergency and seeing Roman talk so openly about mental health and depression, specifically in men, I realised that it was time to do the podcast properly.
This time I knew it was time to stop hiding my biggest hurdle and be completely honest and frank about my experiences. Thankfully my older sister Emma gave me a push at the right time and it was the final straw for getting over my fears and embarking on a journey to try to help others.
Part 2 of this blog post coming soon…
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Vision & Graft | 001 | My Biggest Hurdle is now available.
Subscribe here at visiongraft.com
Vision & Graft is available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Google Podcasts amongst many other podcast platforms. Just open your podcast app, click search and type ‘Vision & Graft’ and be sure to click subscribe.
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We are never alone in the struggles we face.
Vision & Graft aims to inspire action, give hope and normalise the discussion of mental health issues within creative sectors as well as more widely throughout society.
"If talking is the cure then creativity is the recovery." - RWP
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Vision & Graft Podcast | visiongraft.com
Vision & Graft Podcast Instagram | @visiongraft
Vision & Graft Podcast Twitter | @visiongraft
RWP Website | rwpreisner.com
RWP Instagram | @rwpreisner
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Disclaimer: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to constitute or be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health care provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or read in the episode notes.